The best part of waking up,

is Folgers in your rug.

This is why I don't blog as often as I'd like....Everytime I turn around for just a second to get on the computer, things like this happen.

Need a nap,...don't need, want

I would sooo love a nap right now! Friday naps with the sun hiding behind the clouds, will it rain, probably, hopefully. It's been wanting to rain all afternoon but nothing. Cole is going a little stir crazy but the mosquitos are out with a venegance.

The grass is growing quickly and it is driving Will up the wall! He can't stand the grass to look out of control. It's so funny. I see him looking out the window from Cole's room to the grass and his beloved tree, so sad looking. He wants to cut the grass so bad but it rains and so the grass is wet and he can't.

Oh I got Cole this (I mean these) super duper cute tees that say "Li'l Jaguar Fan" from school. One is gray and one is black. I tried to decide on just one but I kept saying to myslef that Cole looks good in gray. Then I would reason that he looks good in navy too. Then I eralized that he looks good in everything so I got them both so people can see what I mean. As soon as he wears it I'll take a picture. The kiddos I'm sure would appreciate it.

Ball

I hate to tell the world but really, we all know I am not very good at being discreet, so here goes....

I have been wondering for some time at what point I should stop letting Cole see me naked. I always thought that in his time, he would let me know. Guess what? I should have stopped letting him see me naked (and by me I mean we) 2 nights ago.

I'll skip over some parts of how we determined Cole was too big to be seeing our parts nude except for one. Will was showering last night and I thought I would kill two birds with one stone and so I put Cole in the shower with Will. No big deal, he just usually sits there and plays water basketball or cars as we shampoo him and all that good stuff.

As Will was washing his hair Cole points to Will's privates and says "pee-pee". Yeah! We were so proud of him. Then Cole stretches his hand out and points to Will's rounded privates and says "ball".

Needless to say, Cole took a bath tonight, alone!

So I "Wait"

It's in our nature to want to understand and control everything. I know that. But I have to keep reminding myself to have faith and to leave things in greater hands. I forget that I am not alone in this journey. I found this poem on another blog some time ago and I wanted to share it with you.

WAIT
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Today

I'm still struggling with sharing our troubles with everyone. Well, it's not really about sharing them with you, it about burdening you with them. The truth is this blog was supposed to be an outlet for us and the truth about us is that we are again struggling to get pregnant.

I struggle to write because despite our troubles, we are blessed to have Cole and sometimes it feels selfish wanting more. But we do.

I am at the time of the month where my faith is shaken again. Today is Sunday and we always go to lunch with Will's parents and grandmother. But I just don't feel like going anywhere today. I want to stay home in bed and cry, and hate, and just try to muster the faith to believe that it will happen. I'd like to pray for the strength to see my pregnant friends and be happy for them without turning green. I'd like to pray, but today I'm mad and who better to be mad at than Him. Today, I am questioning Him, and His existence. Today I am lost.

Back at Work

Went back to work Tuesday and I guess I just haven't been inspired to blog about sitting in meetings all day. So, I haven't blogged. It's just been a nice, peaceful week at home and though much has happened that is blog worthy, I didn't want to miss the fun by having to sit in front of the computer to write about it as it was happening.

Cole was sad all day Tuesday looking around the house for me. Well that's what Gloria says at least and her words are music to my ears. When she tells me stuff like that at least. He knocks on my door and calls out "Mama". Heartbreaking!

He's also been sick with cough and congestion and diarrhea sprinkled here and there. When I say sprinkled I mean throughout the week, not the house. He now has a very scratchy voice, it is so cute!

I probably need to get off the computer because Cole has managed to climb up behind me on the chair like a dozen times already and it is driving me crazy! I think he wants me to spend some time with him and I probably should.

Pure Bliss (pics to come...)

I ventured out to lunch with him to Olive Garden on Friday. He usually stays home with Ya-Ya (Gloria) unless it's a quick drive-thru errand. I love to take him out but as you know, life in restaurants with children, though pleasant, isn't very satisfying. I don't eat well because I am having to feed, coral, calm, or clean Cole constantly.

He was getting really messy and I had made the mistake of letting him sit next to me. Again, another first. He's always in a high chair.

Cole is at this real lovey-dovey stage right now. I absolutely love it. He just grabs us by the head and pulls us towards him and kisses and hugs us. It's pure bliss! Well, he was doing this as we were eating, or shall I say, as he was eating. I had Tour of Italy all over my shirt, hair, and face. I walked out of there smelling like cheese purge but it was all so worth a hundred hugs and kisses from Cole-ster.

and a Version 3

one minor change but had to post it anyway. still tweaking it though so I'll post more tomorrow!

I have a version 2...

Baby Shower Invitation-Girl

Ok, so I have made this invitation for a friend who is having a baby shower soon. I am so excited as this is #3. Too cute! What do you all think? I am partial, I know!!!

Let him be little, let him sleep in the middle

Will and I have been so proud that Cole sleeps in his own crib all night, since he was a week old. Nobody slept well when he was in our bed. We've tried it about a dozen times only to get up after half an hour of Cole kicking, talking, kissing, nose grabbing, and lying sideways. Sorry bud, it's back in your own bed.

Well, our prince sleeps until 6 and we get up to change his diaper and give him his "mil" and we put him in the swing (yest-the one he is way too big for) with his head hanging half off where he sleeps for another 2-3 hours. That swing has been heaven for us. Monday, he cried when I put him in it and he even refused his milk. Weird. So I decided that since I can sleep in late why not let him lay in bed with us? It will be a few torturous hours but Cole will like it.

Let me tell you that our little man has learned to sleep in bed with us. We all slept for a few more hours! I say all but just Cole and I because Will had to get up and go to work. I'm not gonna lie to you, Will and I were a little giddy at the fact that we had slept together. We felt like better parents.

Well, apparently we have ruined our child. Now he refuses the swing in the morning and wants the morning with us. I know, it's not a lot to ask of us, but I don't like habits and that's why we never did it in the first place. But it is kinda fun having him so close so I think we may let it be.

As for the swing, I think we'll keep it for a little while longer. We decided that if 60% of him still fits on there, we will continue to use it. I'm kidding, he still fits in it, .... sort of,.....maybe I should poll it....

Too much

As I mentioned earlier, I woke up early this morning. By the way, I did not nap, didn't need it. Cole and I started our day playing and giving hugs and kisses in bed. It was so much fun, he giggled and laughed and talked up a storm for like 15 minutes.

Then I decided I would go get some breakfast tacos at El Pato. Will took my car to work because it's better on gas and he had to drive into Brownsville. I was stuck with his truck. As I am loading the car seat, Cole is playing in our super messy garage. I hear Cole yelling "agua" and I turn around and find my angel holding this....

Super cute, I know! We had run out of water the day before and Yaya kept saying that we needed more water. So, my genius son sees the water jug and picks it up and brings it to the truck.

So we go on our way to the water store and the attendant is filling my jugs (hahaha) when I reach for my wallet. Its not there. I start fumbling through Will's change in his truck and I find enough to pay in quarters. We only carry big coins, big time, I know. So I pay for 3 jugs and the top that Cole lost and I don't have enough quarters for breakfast! Ugh! Home again, home again, jiggety jig.

I did finally get my breakfast but what a way to start my morning. It was all too much for me before 8:30 a.m.

Can you beleive I'm awake?

Yeah, I know, neither can I. That's because Cole is still asleep! You better believe I'm gonna take a nap today.

I'm just a teeny tiny bit addicted to the computer and I am working on my latest design, a baby shower invitation. Seemed easy enough until I decided to have it die cut in a foldover circle. So now I have to try to work all that into the card. I'm hoping my limited skills will allow something nice to come of it, otherwise I'll have to start over. I'll post it when I'm done!

I'll post later today-just wanted to tell the world, "I'm up"!!!!!

More swimming

Guess where we went again yesterday? Hint. Hint.

That's right. The funnest place in the Valley right now, Chad's swimming pool. We managed to get some better video and lots more pictures. Best of all, Cole went down the big boy slide with daddy. He even went down it before I did because I was scared. But when I did I saw that it was a lot of fun too. Gosh, I'm really coming out of my shell now!

El Salvador

We went to a party last night and normally parties are fun but this one was bittersweet. My friend, Angelina, and her family will be leaving for El Salvador in a week. They will be gone for 2 years! I am so bummed. Ironically though El Salvador is where Gloria is from so Angelina, in true fashion, volunteered to take a box or two of gifts for Gloria's family. Gloria is stoked and has been shopping for weeks now but it doesn't negate the fact that I am losing a friend.

We are always so busy enjoying ourselves out to lunch that we never have taken a picture together and finally we made it a point to take some pictures.

We'll miss you guys!

I never knew "swimming" could be so much fun,....

This happened last weekend but I am just now getting to post about it. Will has a friend Chad who has been inviting us over to his community pool to go swimming. I always blew it off because 1.) I really don't like swimming and 2.) Mimi has a pool we can go to whenever we want and it's private.

So Sunday afternoon Chad calls and invites us over. Will tells him yes without consulting first with me. I know, that the hell?

So, I'm kinda upset that I actually have to leave the computer and I come up with a brilliant idea. Yes, me. I tell him that I will go but I am not going to get in the water and I will take my laptop and play on it. You know because I do invitations now,....

But I was nice about it. I did take my suit just in case,....

Lucky thing I did. We got there and Chad failed to describe it to us. It was awesome! It's actually a huge huge pool (a kiddie pool and a biggie pool and 2 big boy slides)! The kiddie pool went up to 3 1/2 feet but you could walk into it like the beach. It had waterfalls and water-ups (I made that up just now). It was so much fun! Cole loved it!

Will calls and asks what I wanted to do this evening, and I quickly replied, "Call Chad and see if he wants to get together." Hint. Hint.

Beautiful Follicles

Warning, this is girl talk so either read on or stop.

This is day 12 of my cycle and I had an appointment with my OBGYN. I am just crazy about him, Dr. Duran. I didn't see him today but I got to meet his new partner, Dr. Rodriquez. Now I love my Doctor, did I mention that already? Dr. Rodriguez has been there a little over a year and I always kinda insist that I see Dr. D. I was tired today and really couldn't help that it was Day 12 of my cycle or that the Dr. was at the hospital. So without any hesitation I saw Dr. Rodriguez. And you know what, I really liked him too! He took a look and said that I had 4 follicles that were 2.5 cm big and a few smaller ones on the right side and another large follicle on the left side. They were ripe and ready to produce that one egg! Good news! I just can't wait for my eggs to drop!

Fingers crossed for us that in the next few days we can make Cole a brother or sister. We'll be working hard at it and we'll keep you posted,...

I Hate mornings!

I had to go back to work today ya'll. I was somewhat sad and depressed. Those of you that know me know I hate to work even though my work is fun and I love the people I work with (they read my blog....I have to say that. Just kidding, I really do love them!). Don't get me wrong, it's just that I like sleeping in late, playing on the computer and of course, my favorite part of the day is getting to play with Cole and see him anytime I feel like it. If I could take Cole to work with me I think that would be great. Not really, but if I could have my own kitchen and living room and playroom and,...I guess a whole house, no make that a mansion with a pool, all within the school that would be great. Just the basics, that's all I need.

The worst part of it is that I made the choice to go back for 3 days this week as part of a campus improvement initiative. We are trying to disaggregate data and see how we can better serve our students. So it is a very good cause. It helps me be a better teacher and those kids need good teachers. So I was all sour faced and a bad-mooder this morning because I am just not a morning person and I was already making excuses to not return the next two days. Talk about a pessimist right? But after a while, I mean after I woke up, I was so happy that I had gone and decided that I would return. My faith in teaching and the power we have to shape people's lives was reinvigorated. We have a new principal and I have faith that she can lead us in the right direction.
*Warning: Tomorrow morning I will probably be thinking of reasons and justifications why I should not return again. This too will pass after about 10:00 a.m. until I can get back in the groove of waking up early.

Ok, so now I am super trooper tired and I better go to bed now because I have another painfully early day tomorrow.

Happy Anniversary Blaine and Jana!!!!

Just wanted to wish you two a very happy 7th Anniversary.

My first invitation:

I did it! I finally did it!

I finished my very first invitation. I am so so happy. Now, I can make up excuses for how it could have been sooo much better had I had a large budget but the truth is I don't think there is need for it. I think it looks just peachy, especially since it's my very first one!

Anywho, I'll be working on some more to post and show the world. Perhaps a girl version of the "Mine".