Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
PARENT - Job Description
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Source: one of those circulating forwarded emails.
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Source: one of those circulating forwarded emails.
Monday, November 23, 2009
There is free stuff to be had this holiday season.
It has been raining free stuff for a week or so now. A few weeks back we were elated to find, in the mail, a coupon for $10 off any $20 purchase at Office Max. I desperately needed a wireless mouse and keyboard. (Obviously not desperately enough because the coupon sat and when I decided to redeem it, it was 6:50 on a Saturday and the store closes at 7:00-so we missed the free money! Boo-Hoo and shame on us!)
Then, a day or so later, we received a coupon from Kohl's and JC Penney. I never open them up because I just don't usually think to go to these stores for our clothing needs. Target, Old Navy, Banana Republic, or Ann Taylor Loft will usually suffice. But Will opened them up. And they were both offering us a $10 coupon off anything in the store for $10 or more. Um,...yeah, I'll stop in there. So we went to Kohl's first, and we bought Cole a pair of jeans for $2.20! Then the cashier said we could keep the coupon. So we got our bag and bolted outta there before she changed her mind. How exciting! More free stuff!
Saturday evening we hit JC Penney to redeem that coupon. We walked out with a pair of Levis jeans for $4.46. But we were feeling all greedy and decided to head out to Kohl's for the second round of free money. Will walked in and was able to use the coupon again! Another pair of jeans for $2.20!
We got home and we were reeling about how awesome coupons are when we opened our mailbox, guess what we saw?
A $10 coupon off of any $20 purchase at Office max AND a $5 coupon for BEALLS off of $5. Can you believe our luck? So make sure you open those coupons because there are some great finds right now. And I do desperately need that wireless mouse and keyboard so this time I am hitting Office Max early.
And in case you are thinking that they are sending coupons to get us to spend more, you are correct! But we didn't. Because I had Hubby around, I was focused. We only walked out with what we needed.
Then, a day or so later, we received a coupon from Kohl's and JC Penney. I never open them up because I just don't usually think to go to these stores for our clothing needs. Target, Old Navy, Banana Republic, or Ann Taylor Loft will usually suffice. But Will opened them up. And they were both offering us a $10 coupon off anything in the store for $10 or more. Um,...yeah, I'll stop in there. So we went to Kohl's first, and we bought Cole a pair of jeans for $2.20! Then the cashier said we could keep the coupon. So we got our bag and bolted outta there before she changed her mind. How exciting! More free stuff!
Saturday evening we hit JC Penney to redeem that coupon. We walked out with a pair of Levis jeans for $4.46. But we were feeling all greedy and decided to head out to Kohl's for the second round of free money. Will walked in and was able to use the coupon again! Another pair of jeans for $2.20!
We got home and we were reeling about how awesome coupons are when we opened our mailbox, guess what we saw?
A $10 coupon off of any $20 purchase at Office max AND a $5 coupon for BEALLS off of $5. Can you believe our luck? So make sure you open those coupons because there are some great finds right now. And I do desperately need that wireless mouse and keyboard so this time I am hitting Office Max early.
And in case you are thinking that they are sending coupons to get us to spend more, you are correct! But we didn't. Because I had Hubby around, I was focused. We only walked out with what we needed.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Your welcome in our club!
Last night we went to JC Penney. It's the newest one here by our house. It was so nice in there-all decked out for the holidays. Christmas music filled the well lit air. Luckily, I had Hubbs because that sound and the ambiance is intoxicating. Intoxicating enough for me to pull out my cash and start shoppin' it up. Well, we found some pants for Cole, some Levis, for $4.46. We walked out of the store and we walked to our car. And walked. And walked some more. Until finally we realized that our car was not there. So we walked some more and instead of looking for our car, we looked for clues. Like glass. We found none. Will called the police.
I walked around some more, just in case we missed it. Then I kinda started to get teary eyed. I was getting sad, thinking this simply cannot be! I just had my car broken into 3 weeks ago and Will had a blow out 2 months ago and a nail in the new truck's tire 2 days ago (which was in the side wall which meant he needed a new tire!-ugh). Seriously, this was the last thing we needed.
But then, my mind started working and visions of Yukons danced in my head. And some more tears squeezed past my eyes. They were happy tears. Then, I thought about the worth of my car and the cost of a Yukon,...yeah,..that's not gonna happen. So I teared up again. I walked to the entrance of the store, and was asking some poeple standing there if they had seen anything. The security guard pulled up and I told him I think our car was stolen. Then I corrected myself, I know our car was stolen.
"Which entrance did you come in from?"
Um, what do you mean which entrance? I look around and I am sure, no, positive, this is the entrance we came in from. Look, double glass doors, Sephora, 411, Sephora written perfectly centered on top. I looked to the right of the store and saw the plaque, ESTABLISHED IN 1902. Yup, pretty sure this is the entrance we walked in to. Look there's the restaurant we talked about as we drove in. I looked inside and then all of a sudden, it doesn't look so familiar. And then I'm confused. I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone. Nothing makes sense anymore. But I was so sure.
So the guard offers to take us to the other entrance. As we pile into the cart, he comments, "you are the 4th people today that this has happened to". {Oh good, that makes us feel better.} Except that by now, I'm kinda hoping the car was stolen because this is all slightly embarrassing. He drives us around the corner, yes, like 100 yards, and then we see it. There it is, in all it's dusty glory. Our car.
Seriously? Has this ever happened to anyone? Are we getting old and forgetful? Or old and careless? I am not finding it at all comforting that 4 other people had that happen to them that day, because people tend to be, well,... stupid. Because there were clues. Like the fact that when we took the time to pay at that exit we noticed it was not the place we came in from!
So, without even knowing it, or intending it, we have joined the stupid club. You are all welcome-because misery loves company!
I walked around some more, just in case we missed it. Then I kinda started to get teary eyed. I was getting sad, thinking this simply cannot be! I just had my car broken into 3 weeks ago and Will had a blow out 2 months ago and a nail in the new truck's tire 2 days ago (which was in the side wall which meant he needed a new tire!-ugh). Seriously, this was the last thing we needed.
But then, my mind started working and visions of Yukons danced in my head. And some more tears squeezed past my eyes. They were happy tears. Then, I thought about the worth of my car and the cost of a Yukon,...yeah,..that's not gonna happen. So I teared up again. I walked to the entrance of the store, and was asking some poeple standing there if they had seen anything. The security guard pulled up and I told him I think our car was stolen. Then I corrected myself, I know our car was stolen.
"Which entrance did you come in from?"
Um, what do you mean which entrance? I look around and I am sure, no, positive, this is the entrance we came in from. Look, double glass doors, Sephora, 411, Sephora written perfectly centered on top. I looked to the right of the store and saw the plaque, ESTABLISHED IN 1902. Yup, pretty sure this is the entrance we walked in to. Look there's the restaurant we talked about as we drove in. I looked inside and then all of a sudden, it doesn't look so familiar. And then I'm confused. I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone. Nothing makes sense anymore. But I was so sure.
So the guard offers to take us to the other entrance. As we pile into the cart, he comments, "you are the 4th people today that this has happened to". {Oh good, that makes us feel better.} Except that by now, I'm kinda hoping the car was stolen because this is all slightly embarrassing. He drives us around the corner, yes, like 100 yards, and then we see it. There it is, in all it's dusty glory. Our car.
Seriously? Has this ever happened to anyone? Are we getting old and forgetful? Or old and careless? I am not finding it at all comforting that 4 other people had that happen to them that day, because people tend to be, well,... stupid. Because there were clues. Like the fact that when we took the time to pay at that exit we noticed it was not the place we came in from!
So, without even knowing it, or intending it, we have joined the stupid club. You are all welcome-because misery loves company!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Whacky Barometers
Every parent knows their barometer of "crazy child" is whack when it comes to their own. I hardly ever think my child is well-behaved. I mentioned that this week would be a hectic one because I had something going on every night and Will was going to have to step in all week, every night. So on Monday I decided that it was a rather casual meeting that I would take him so that Will could stay home and just relax. So I did and the whole time I was there I could swear that Cole was kinda being annoying.
Now, because my barometer I know is waaay off when it comes to my child -you know because I love him so much but he also drives me nuts so much-that I don't react very consistently. Sometimes I play "cool" mom and I let everything just slip off my shoulders. I pretend I have it under control, that all is as it should be. Like Cole throwing tantrums in the shopping carts, remember that? I just walk around like "Do you all hear anything, I don't hear anything" all the while I am pushing around a screaming kicking toddler. I just play it cool.
Then there are those times that I am all feisty and scolding for every little thing. Basically, uptight. I'll see Cole start trying to strike up a conversation with one of the girls at the meeting and I pull him aside and ask him if we "need to go outside and have a talk" kinda uptight. Just for talking. But the thing is that Cole's 2, and he really just couldn't care less, and he just can't help his sweet little heart to not talk to someone. But I forget and I'm all like "don't bother the girls".
So I find myself always confused, never knowing where to draw the line. When to be relaxed, when to be strict, when to be uptight. Because you see, I am not a true judge of my child's behavior. But I know that I am being judged for how I react (or don't react) to it.
This whole mommy gig is hard!
Now, because my barometer I know is waaay off when it comes to my child -you know because I love him so much but he also drives me nuts so much-that I don't react very consistently. Sometimes I play "cool" mom and I let everything just slip off my shoulders. I pretend I have it under control, that all is as it should be. Like Cole throwing tantrums in the shopping carts, remember that? I just walk around like "Do you all hear anything, I don't hear anything" all the while I am pushing around a screaming kicking toddler. I just play it cool.
Then there are those times that I am all feisty and scolding for every little thing. Basically, uptight. I'll see Cole start trying to strike up a conversation with one of the girls at the meeting and I pull him aside and ask him if we "need to go outside and have a talk" kinda uptight. Just for talking. But the thing is that Cole's 2, and he really just couldn't care less, and he just can't help his sweet little heart to not talk to someone. But I forget and I'm all like "don't bother the girls".
So I find myself always confused, never knowing where to draw the line. When to be relaxed, when to be strict, when to be uptight. Because you see, I am not a true judge of my child's behavior. But I know that I am being judged for how I react (or don't react) to it.
This whole mommy gig is hard!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Don't forget about Black Friday!
Just wanted to let you know that I am planning a huge, and I mean HUGE Black Friday sale. Best of all, it will be online so you don't even need to get out of your jammies. Or, you can shop while you're waiting in line all night at the stores. Yay! Either way you win.
But I am pooped, and though I should work on getting my designs on my site, I need to get some rest because I have a shower to co-host tomorrow, the corm maize, client design she needs ASAP (among others), a wedding, and somewhere in there I have to love on my precious little man and big man. Who by the way are sound alseep, all snug as a bug. If I jumped into bed with them would that count as pecious time? What if I held them close?
Sure would but I'm greedy and that's just not enough of them! Good night. I have some quality snug as a bug time to catch.
But I'll see you on Black Friday right? At my site. For the sale. Remember???
But I am pooped, and though I should work on getting my designs on my site, I need to get some rest because I have a shower to co-host tomorrow, the corm maize, client design she needs ASAP (among others), a wedding, and somewhere in there I have to love on my precious little man and big man. Who by the way are sound alseep, all snug as a bug. If I jumped into bed with them would that count as pecious time? What if I held them close?
Sure would but I'm greedy and that's just not enough of them! Good night. I have some quality snug as a bug time to catch.
But I'll see you on Black Friday right? At my site. For the sale. Remember???
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Criminally Advanced!?
It's been a few months now that every time I get close to ovulation time in my cycle I am exhausted. Like exhausted like I can't keep my eyes open but my body feels good. Weirdest thing. Maybe I am just now noticing. But right now, I should be in bed but I felt guilty about having neglected my blog for so long. So much has happened and I am such a flake I know I won't remember if I don't blog when it happens.
I had been missing church for a few weeks straight that when we finally went back I dreaded having to convince Cole to go. He's not crazy about being left in the u=nursery. But we went and he didn't fight me. I told him he could take a truck into church. That seemed to please him. When we walked in to the nursery, he saw a pile of fire trucks and police cards and others trucks he handed me his and gave me a kiss. Just like that. It was that easy. After church I went back for him and he didn't want to leave! He's been asking all week now if we can go back to church. I had been praying about Cole not having a negative association with church and I was quite pleased to see my prayers had been answered.
Cole is also liking school. Wanting to go and not wanting to leave. It is so comforting knowing that the decision to go and stay at school is his now.
And he's learning so much. I was trying to show off to my mom who has decided to return to school to be an interpreter that I can sign my alphabet. I signed facing Cole but he wasn't impressed. He looks at me when I finished (turns out I only remembered to F) and then he picks up his hand and shows me one finger. "One" he yells. Um hum, got it, bragging isn't ever fun.
He's also learning to be sneaky. He is not allowed to take cars into school. Last week he asked me for shorts that had pockets. He was very specific. I think I was in a hurry and he didn't end up with pockets but he then insisted on carrying his lunch box in the car. Fine. When we got to his classroom, I reached in to take his snack out and I found 3 cards in there!
It still hadn't dawned on me the following day when he asked me for pocket shorts. I dressed him in shorts with pockets and that time he tried to sneak in cars in his pockets!
Then, just when I thought I had problems, when I picked him up this afternoon, he tried to leave the class with some other student's cars in his pockets. 3 of them! It was a total fluke that I found them. He even told the teacher they were his, in front of me!
So it's been frustrating. A small problem to have considering all that has transpired these last few weeks but I don't have a clue how to discipline or teach him about stealing and lying and being sneaky. Is this normal or my child a little criminally advanced for his age?
I had been missing church for a few weeks straight that when we finally went back I dreaded having to convince Cole to go. He's not crazy about being left in the u=nursery. But we went and he didn't fight me. I told him he could take a truck into church. That seemed to please him. When we walked in to the nursery, he saw a pile of fire trucks and police cards and others trucks he handed me his and gave me a kiss. Just like that. It was that easy. After church I went back for him and he didn't want to leave! He's been asking all week now if we can go back to church. I had been praying about Cole not having a negative association with church and I was quite pleased to see my prayers had been answered.
Cole is also liking school. Wanting to go and not wanting to leave. It is so comforting knowing that the decision to go and stay at school is his now.
And he's learning so much. I was trying to show off to my mom who has decided to return to school to be an interpreter that I can sign my alphabet. I signed facing Cole but he wasn't impressed. He looks at me when I finished (turns out I only remembered to F) and then he picks up his hand and shows me one finger. "One" he yells. Um hum, got it, bragging isn't ever fun.
He's also learning to be sneaky. He is not allowed to take cars into school. Last week he asked me for shorts that had pockets. He was very specific. I think I was in a hurry and he didn't end up with pockets but he then insisted on carrying his lunch box in the car. Fine. When we got to his classroom, I reached in to take his snack out and I found 3 cards in there!
It still hadn't dawned on me the following day when he asked me for pocket shorts. I dressed him in shorts with pockets and that time he tried to sneak in cars in his pockets!
Then, just when I thought I had problems, when I picked him up this afternoon, he tried to leave the class with some other student's cars in his pockets. 3 of them! It was a total fluke that I found them. He even told the teacher they were his, in front of me!
So it's been frustrating. A small problem to have considering all that has transpired these last few weeks but I don't have a clue how to discipline or teach him about stealing and lying and being sneaky. Is this normal or my child a little criminally advanced for his age?
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Thank You Thank You Thank You
As you all know, last week was a rough one for me and my family. It finished off great with Halloween and things have just been moving right along that I never had the chance to update my blog. So I left it all sad for a week.
Throughout the week though, I had received such an outpouring of support from old friends and new friends alike. I can't even begin to tell you what my heart is saying. Through this all, I should be thanking Him for my family, my health, and for my new friends. I wanted to blog about Halloween and post pictures but after a message from Susan, I thought it more fitting to thank my readers for reading my blog and all the encouragement they have provided me.
Thank you for all the email hugs you sent my way. They warmed my heart. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!
I received the most beautiful emails and I want you all to know that I open them and read them almost daily. Even the shortest email from a stranger that only read HUGS in the subject line brought a tear to my eyes. {Ok, lots of them}
I open them and I think "someone hears me. Someone hears my cry" and that calms me. If they can hear me, and show me the love they show without even knowing me,...
most certainly so can He.
If there is anyone that reads this and is struggling with infertility, miscarriage, or the loss of a child, Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake was recommended to me by a friend of mine. I have yet to pick it up but I am looking forward to it.
Throughout the week though, I had received such an outpouring of support from old friends and new friends alike. I can't even begin to tell you what my heart is saying. Through this all, I should be thanking Him for my family, my health, and for my new friends. I wanted to blog about Halloween and post pictures but after a message from Susan, I thought it more fitting to thank my readers for reading my blog and all the encouragement they have provided me.
Thank you for all the email hugs you sent my way. They warmed my heart. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!
I received the most beautiful emails and I want you all to know that I open them and read them almost daily. Even the shortest email from a stranger that only read HUGS in the subject line brought a tear to my eyes. {Ok, lots of them}
I open them and I think "someone hears me. Someone hears my cry" and that calms me. If they can hear me, and show me the love they show without even knowing me,...
most certainly so can He.
If there is anyone that reads this and is struggling with infertility, miscarriage, or the loss of a child, Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake was recommended to me by a friend of mine. I have yet to pick it up but I am looking forward to it.
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