I will still love you Lord!

So has anyone seen the movie, Facing the Giants? Mom brought it home one day as part of her assignment. She needed to write a paper and asked for my help. I hate school stuff. Been there, done that, don't want to go back. Then, to top it off, it's a footbal movie....serious eye rolling action going on now....

But, I had to help her. So I watched it. And I LOVED it! That was some time ago.

It's about a football coach at a local high school whose team has never won a football game. He and his wife are struggling financlially, they are struggling with infertility, and he is struggling to keep his job. The one thing that he does not struggle with, is his faith.

One day he goes out into a field and he reads his Bible and prays. His wife comes out and he asks her: "If the Lord never gives us children, will you still love Him?"

Then, he goes to school and he tells his players:
"I want God to bless this team so much people will talk about what He did. But it means we gotta give Him our best in every area. And if we win, we praise Him. And if we lose, we praise Him. Either way we honor Him with our actions and our attitudes. So I'm askin' you... What are you living for? I resolve to give God everything I've got, then I'll leave the results up to Him. I want to know if you'll join me."

So these young players start beleiving and they start winnning. His wife still does not get pregnant. One day, she calls a friend embarrased that she feels pregnant but is hesitatnt to go into the Drs. because her pregnancy tests are always negative. She finally decides to go in and they test her. The nurse comes in and gives her the negative results. She walks out to her car, and cries and then says "I will still love you Lord."

Meanwhile, back in the Drs. office, the Nurse realizes that a mistake has been made. She runs out to the parking lot and gives the news to his wife (Brooke Taylor).

Now, back to my real life,....I am pregnant again. Almost six weeks. Feeling fantastic. It's supposed to be a secret until we knew everything was going great. Until we saw a sac or heard a heartbeat. Went to Drs. this morning and he didn't like the progress that has been made. He should have seen more. So more blood tests. Another appointment next week and a veeery loong weekend ahead of me. Waiting. and Wondering. Just like last time. Exaclty 2 months ago.

But I have faith right? And my faith is stronger than his ultrasound machine. But still....on the long drive home, I started to think. In my head. And we know that that is never a good thing. And I started thinking about the difference between having faith and being realistic. Which got me down. I was in a funk. I pulled into the garage, shut the door and I felt paralyzed. All I wanted to do was cry. So I did. In my garage. But only briefly because I live in Texas and it's freakin' hot. Then I thought "I will still love you Lord!"

And so were off to the beach tonight with some dear friends and their 4 kids! For 3 days! I am hoping for some major chaos because I need this weekend to help me keep my mind off of tests, and results, and appointments.

And to keep reminding myself to praise Him,...no matter what.

Disclaimer: Hubs gave me strict instructions to keep the news under wraps. And technically, I am. I am not telling anyone. Not directly at least. So if nobody reads my blog (and I don't think anybody does), nobody knows. Right? Right?

Meet Maci!!!!

Oops, found this post in my drafts from a couple of months back. I guess I should have shared it way back when but it's never to late.

Sooo,.....

I finally got a Mac! that was my super awesome Mother's Day gift (though I've had it for a little over a week). I love it. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. it. Like seriously? Why didn't I go Mac before? Long before. You know what they say right, "Once you go Mac, you never go back."


But I am still learning the intricacies of my new and precious family member little toy. For example, forward delete, where are you my friend? I miss you oh so very much. I need to find a shortcut to you.

Also, there is a Caps Lock delay on my Mac. So SOMETIMES MY SENTENCES ENDED UP LOOKING LIKE THIS because it takes the key a while to respond to the command. So I decided to Google what was up with that.  And a few Apple geeks were all like:

"Why in the world would you ever want the Caps key when you could just use shift?"

and

"the caps lock key is useless"

And I was all like, "that's freakin' brilliant!" Seriously. Never thought to use Shift to capitalize things. I use it for everything else. It should just come naturally. It would remove one step from the capitalizing of stuff. So then I wondered if I was among the majority or the minority. How many of you use the caps lock and how many of you use the shift to capitalize words?