No Pictures Please!!!!

Today was Cole's first day back at school. I couldn't sleep last night I was so giddy with excitement!

It's not how it looks. Really. He was happy and very excited about his first day at school. The pictures are deceiving. I think he was just annoyed that I kept asking him to pose.

He was excited about that firetruck all weekend. It's in the second picture but I only got a small part of it in there. He kept saying he was gonna grab that firetruck and play with it. I got there early so that he could get it and I could leave without him crying for me. You know, so that he would find solace in the toy. 

He was a little sad when I told him I had to leave. He kept whispering to me that he was "scared". So his teacher, Miss Jeanie sat next to him and gave him the snuggles he needed to say goodbye to me. I left the classroom and stayed in the building for a while. He was completely fine. Then I got to talking to another mother and forgot to watch that he wasn't watching me and he spotted me through his classroom window. He smiled BIG and yelled "Mommy! I love you!" And then he threw me kisses. Then I left for real. I think he stayed ok.

Now, I'm just sitting here at home,...nervous. Wondering if he is still in fact ok.

Finding Refuge

So I'm guessing it's the hormones and the nausea that are kinda making me fell blue. Kinda agitated. Kinda restless. Kinda like maybe I want to go back to some kind of out of house work. Maybe all mothers feel this discord with where they are. This sense that maybe they are wasting their talents. If I was working I would think that I should be home. That my talent was loving and nurturing and rasing  my child.

I felt this when Cole turned 1 and I decided to go back to work. After working almost a year, I felt that maybe I should be home. So I quit to be home. Now I'm back to where I was a year and a half ago. And I guess I am just wondering if the old adage is true: that the grass is always greener on the other side. Is it? Is this all there is to life? Will I never be content with my place in life? The place I worked so hard to be? 

I think I've been sick inside these four walls for too long (8 weeks) because I almost want to find refuge in a 9-5. But then I can't imagine not finding refuge in the arms of my child 24/7.

Which reminds me of the mini meltdown I kinda wanted to have in the Wal Mart parking lot this afternoon. I had just eaten lunch and hour or so earlier. I thought it would be safe for me, Cole, and my full tummy to venture into Wal Mart. I started to get really hungry there. As we were leaving Cole was tripping in front of the cart, hanging onto the cart, and wiping his hands across every aisle. I was growing more and more frustrated with each and every warning I was giving him. We walked outside into the sweltering South Texas heat and I imagined pushing a cart with a baby and trying to deal with Cole and I just wanted to cry out of hunger frustration. And for a moment I wondered if maybe I would appreciate moments like this if I was working. Would I cherish my time with him more?

I think it's my hormones talking and right now they're telling me I need to eat some nachos, which consequently are extremely hard to find at 11 at night. And I know this for a fact because I sent mom over to the nacho stand and Will over to the ballpark to get some and they were all closed for the night. Guess I'll go find refuge in those sweet and sticky arms of my little man - but first I have to interrogate him and find out what the sticky stuff is ;)

Cole is swimming like a pro!!!!

Will has been asking me to post this for days!!!! There ya go baby...now you can see it 100 times a day! Enjoy!

Cool Songs...for Toddlers

I was watching Practical Magic a few days ago and I love love love the part where the girls have Midnight Margaritas to Coconut by Harry Nilsson. Cole happened to walk in and I was really into it. He thought I was weird but I soon got him singing along. I even managed to get him to replay it and sing it with me.

So on Monday he walks in as I am working away at the computer and says, "Mom I want the cool party song."

I about fall off my chair. I'm all proud of him. I whisk him up and hug and kiss him. He's such a party animal! I am such a proud mama! So I get on YouTube and find it and play it.



He gets pissed! Starts yelling "no"!

I'm all like "Yes, just wait....watch, wait for it, now....You put the lime in the coconut...."

"No! That's not the cool song!"

Yes. Yes. I think it is the cool song.

He insists those aren't the guys that were singing the cool song on tv. Ohhhh. Light bulb moment. Quite embarrassing that I was belting a margarita song and insisting my toddler love it. Apparanelty, he has horrible taste in music. Curse you Nick jr and Yo Gabba Gabba!!! He meant the Cool Pool Party by the Aquabats.

It really does suck this song. Have a look-see:

Silver Moons

I was just rereading an email I had replied to earlier and the realization hit me. Like it really really hit me,....we're having a GIRL!!!!! I just couldn't believe that I get to claim those three simple little words..."We're having a girl."

Wow. I'm not sure what I think it means for me. For us. But wow. What a stress reliever. Because I would be worried for the next few years that I may never have a girl. That the name we had staked for our daughter would never be able to be uttered by us for our own.

I think that Cole yearned for a boy though he was always happy to be told by me that it was a girl. He didn't want to disappoint me so he just insisted there were two in my belly; one for me and one for him. But he's excited now. Especially since we don't really ask him if he has a preference anymore. He understand it just is what it is.

Now Mimi (Will's mom), she's over the moon excited. She had two boys and Will's paternal grandmother had three boys. So the cards were stacked against us in her opinion. She finally gets her girl. It was so funny because Will's dad (Bop) is such a tough guy but he's really a big ol' teddy bear. When Will called him to share the news he was like "Let me guess; another boy." So I think secretly he's over the moon too to have his very own little princess.

Truth be told, we're all just over the moon. Gosh, I have so much shopping to do!

We're thinking PINK!!!!!!

Thought you should all be the first to know that the Dr. thinks that most likely Baby #2 is a little girl. But I don't want to celebrate too early because what if baby changes....just really superstitious. However,....I am officially hanging up the girl stuff I bought in the closet. HeeHee!!!!

Unconditional Love????

Cole: "Mom, can I have more apple juice?"

Me: "No, it's all gone. There's no more."

Cole: (mumbling and with his hands over his mouth) "I don't love you anymore."

So I stopped what I was doing to turn around and look at him. 

Me: "What did you say?"

Cole: (still mumbling through his fingers) " I love you."

Me: "No, that's not what you said. What did you say?"

Cole: (covering his face) "I don't remember."

Right.

Still working through this one....

Is it a Boy or a Girl????

We hope to find out soon, but in the meantime, cast your vote. I put a poll up on the left side of the blog so you can do so.

BTW, I know the blog look is weird and I plan on working on it. I plan on it. But I am like 6 weeks behind in client work and the aesthetics of my blog will have to come later. BooHoo, but I'll have some very happy clients who will now be relieved to know I am back in business and ready to deliver! Thanks for being so patient with me!

Now go vote!

Toddler Care

Some days are good, some days are bad, and some days are really really bad. This is the 3rd good day in a row and probably something to celebrate. But I'm still leery and scared because the last time I celebrated, it bit me in the bum. For 6 weeks. So, we'll just say I'm having a good day, good enough to blog briefly.

I'm sure you're wondering just how bad my days have been. Let's just say that my toilet and I have become a lot more intimate than I am comfortable with. But even sadder is that my toilet and toddler have also become a lot more intimate than I am comfortable with. We spend a lot of our time in the guest bathroom he and I. There are strict rules that must be followed:

the toilet bowl must be clean at all times
the toilet must remain flushed at all times
the toilet seat and rim must be wiped down after every use
the blue stool must be present at all times
the shower curtain must be open and draped up at all times
there must be clean hand towels readily available
a clean glass must also always be readily available
and absolutely NO pooping in the guest bathroom (or at least I must never know about it)

Little Man has really grown into his own and now has to take care of his Mom. Here is a teeny-tiny dysfunctional glimpse of the happenings of our house these last few weeks:

Yes, that's my three year old holding my head and rubbing my back as I throw up. He's also saying, "Mommy, it's ok. You're going to be ok."

I know. It's pretty sad. He then gets me wet towels and fills a glass of water and then demands that I drink,...and then swallow. And he watches me, and waits, to make sure I swallow.