Come Enjoy Us

It seems lately that Cole has really started to not like school. He might have mentioned it more than 3 times this morning that he specifically does not like school and he doens't want to go. I can't help but wonder what might have happened that would make him not like school anymore. I thought maybe the kids made fun of him - but then he's barely 3 and that's not likely. The only thing I could think of was that a few weeks back he got in trouble in class and went into time out for jumping off a table. And rightfully so. We followed up on the discipline at home too with another time out. Maybe for a 3 year old that's pretty traumatic? I don't know, I'm 30, and time outs are traumatic for me still. Not that I ever get put into time out but when I feel timed-out, I feel pretty lousy.

I have this anxiety about school. School for Cole. I HATED school. So I am kinda freakin' out. He cries when I leave him. Then he's fine 2 seconds later but I just can't help feel wrong about something.

He was telling me on the drive to school this morning that he didn't like school, he didn't want to go. So I told him that when we got home I would play with him. His face lit up. Then he asked if I would play cars with him. His ultimate joy, and all he wanted was for me to enjoy it with him, or to enjoy him. This, in this time of prioritization, should be top priority. I am making an effort to play with him more, to enjoy him more, but still, it just feels like I am being present. And it took an email to make me see that being present is different from being engaged. And he's 3 but he knows that even though Mommy is there, she's not really all there.

So today I will try to sit on the floor with my toddler, and play cars and build roads till his little heart just can't take it anymore. But then I've been there before and my boy is hard core, so maybe Ill have to put a time limit on it afterall:(

If you're at all interested in the email, you'll find it below:

Come Enjoy Us

By Jeanne Rohrs

The other night my boys and I were sitting down to dinner as my husband entered the room. My three-year-old looked up and said, “Daddy, come enjoy us!”

I love puns, but this one stood out to me because it revealed the heart of my child.

I often miss out on enjoying my children as I herd them from one errand to another. Most of the time I join them but don’t enjoy them. Why aren’t those words synonyms for me as a mom?

Maybe it’s because no matter what I get done, there’s always more to do; more that I think I should have done; more that I think I should be. And there’s guilt over all that I have yet to do. That’s how it happens – my kids become roadblocks.

But when I stop keeping-up-with-the-Joneses and trying to be like June Cleaver, and I really look at my kids, I see their desire for me to enjoy them – to delight in them. It’s then that I ask myself if my agenda is really that important, and if the floor is really too dirty.

Lord, you delight in your children. You quiet them with your love and rejoice over them with singing. Give me your perspective. Help me to enjoy the gift that my kids are.

DIY Play Kitchen

As I was stalking the usual blogs this afternoon I found these great DIY play kitchens. I was inspired,...for all of like 1 minute before I realized that these kitchens that cost them $65 to make would probably cost me $265 to make. This is not including the demands I would make on my overworked and underpaid Hubs or the time outs I would have to put Toddler in for prematurely playing in his kitchen. Sooo,... I will just live vicariously through these domestic divas. They also have some fabulous play kitchen pictures and groups on Flickr that you might find inspiring if you are ever so inclined.

You can click on a picture to be directed to the original blog and post for that play kitchen.

all work and no play

I have been torn lately. Because I don't know how to tune work out. But I do know how to tune my toddler out. Kinda backwards thinking for someone who has ALWAYS wanted to be a stay at home mommy. So I am struggling with this. Struggling to find this balance between work and play. Struggling to decide which is work and which is play. I know what the answer should be. I know what I'd like it to be. But it's backwards too.

So I am struggling. Really really struggling to put little man and big man first. Where they should be.

And right now, little man is way past due for a nap. So I should go. I mean I want to go. To lay in bed with him, and try as I might to not sneak out once he's fast asleep.

A day in the life of an overzealous mom.

Remember the lengths I went through to get him into school last year? Remember how I was THE ONLY ONE who went through those lengths? Well, I do. Guess what day today was? It was registration day at school today. But I was ahead of the game. There was no need for me to stay the night. Existing students have 1st priority.

I was also torn about my choices. There was the 3 day and the 5 day classes. Cole is in 5 day right now. But I love having Cole home. And besides, he's a late sleeper so school only makes me have to wake up ealrier. Otherwise we'd sleep in till 9 or 10 am. Also, I love having Cole around and I have serious anxiety about him going off to real school so I think I should keep him home while I can.....ugh! Decisions! Decisions!

I drove Cole to school this morning. We arrived 30 minutes late, (at 10) as usual because we slept in. There was a line to register. THERE WAS A LINE! I was in official panic mode. I SHOULD'VE SPENT THE NIGHT!

Ok, I lie. I wasn't quite that worried. Until I was walking back to my car, past the line, and a parent in Cole's class says to another parent next in line, "I was #9, you should be ok!"

Ok!,... she's next! What does that mean? Are there only 10 spots? What's going on? So I get in line and I'm still not even sure for which class. But scarcity creates demand and I want THAT class,...I think.

So I get in line and I get the scoop: there are 15 spots and I would be ok. It is for the coveted 5 day with Ms. Rosie and Ms. Jeanie who I have heard a lot about. I decide to scope out the classrooms and the teachers. I get out of line to peek in. Immediately I see who Ms. Rosie is and I LOVE her! I see her in the hallway all the time and she smiles and she is so loving! I peek into the 3 day class and I am sure, ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE that I want Cole with Ms. Rosie. 5 days a week.

So we get in, I register him. But neither A nor N have registered. You know, A is his love, and N is his best bud. So I call the mothers of A and N. Frantically. Get a hold of A's mom, A gets in. Finally get a hold of N's mom, she is 1st on the waiting list for that class. So we're torn because we want N too!!!!!

The day the world stood still.

I heard the birds chirping yesterday as I was driving around town. I was in the midst of the hustle and bustle of trying to clean the house and do last minute errands for the dinner we had in honor of Cole's 3rd birthday. Normally, I don't feel any peace waiting til the last minute to do anything. But that day, I could hear the birds chirping and I smelled the flowers. It was Cole's birthday yesterday. And I would've blogged about it. I desperately wanted to blog, in his honor. But I was smelling the roses and playing with my little birthday boy. It was seriously the weirdest thing. It started the day before his birthday. I was driving home from lunch and I saw the clock. It read 12:35 and I thought back to where I was 3 years ago at 12:35 pm. So I texted Will:

Right now, 3 years ago today we were being told that our baby boy was debuting early.

Cole's due date was February 24th, 2007. When we went in on the 7th for the weekly OBGYN appt. we were told that my amniotic fluid was very low and that we needed to go to the hospital. It was nothing like we had expected. We went home and packed our bags and drove to the hospital. No rushing. No speeding past lights. No pain.

He was born at 5:35 am on February 8th, 2007. I heard the birds chirping that day too. I remember looking out the window at the car speeding down the expressway wondering how on earth they were going so fast. It was as if the world had stood still. It was me and Will and Cole in that room and we saw nothing else and we heard nothing else. Such a peace. So hard to describe. It was so hard to believe that there was life outside those 4 walls.

So I felt that again on his birthday. All day Will and I kept looking at the clock, letting our thoughts wander back to that day, in that hospital room, and wonder what we were doing at that moment in time.

I wished I blogged then. I would love to have an account of all those moments. The exact moment I got my epidural, the first push, the final push, the first black diaper, the fainting, the first suckle,....

So I guess this account will have to do. But I thought what a fun tradition it would be for Cole on his birthday to play this game with us when he's a little older. We could recount his birth to him (including Mimi's contribution) throughout the day.I should mention that Mom was there throughout the whole birth as well. Maybe she heard the birds chirping too. I was looking through my photos and I found this one. It was as if right away, Cole knew his Nana was a kindred spirit. I think Cole heard the birds too:)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET BOY!!!!!!

It's complicated (for a Momma)

My little man is in love. He is in love with a little red-head from school. But it's quite complicated, this pre-school love. Because you see, Cole loves A. Cole has a best buddy at school N, who also loves A. But A does not love Cole. A loves N:(

Cole I believe could not care less that A and N were holding hands at school all day. Or that N and A were crying for each other after school. Pre-school love, isn't really all that complicated. Not for them, ya know, the pre-schoolers. My heart is broken that little man didn't get the girl. But Cole, in all his innocence, doesn't see it that way. There's no jealousy. It's just all pure love. It can shared. Cars however cannot be shared. Not at this tender age. But then again, adults can share their cars, but certainly not their loves.

Starring in the below movie are Cole, N and A.
(Having problems removing sound from video-names are revealed and we can't have any of that!)

Most Common First Letter for Last Names

I realize this is pretty uninteresting information for most of my blog readers. But I am placing it within my blog for my own future reference and also for the reference of the world wide web.

I found the most common Last Names quite easily at About.com BUT Smith being the most popular last name does not necessarily mean that S is the most popular letter. For example -- Johnson and Jones are both in the top 5 popular names totaling about 1.2 million more then Smith (2.7m vs 3.9 (2.2 and 1.7m)).So what this all means is that I had to do some extra work-and count for myself.

These are my results:
#1: W - 5.854 million
#2: J - 5.347 million
#3: M - 4.854 million
#4: S - 4.53 million
#5: B - 4.131 million
#6: R - 3.774 million
#7: H - 3.397 million
#8: T - 3.17 million
#9: C - 3.066 million
#10: P - 2.573 million
#11: G - 2.422 million
#12: A - 2.118 million
#13: L - 1.996 million
#14: D - 1.553 million
#15: K - 804,000
#16: E - 765,000
#17: Y - 531,000
#18: F - 503,000
#19: N - 446,000

Now, please keep in mind that you may want to double check my math. My source is About.com and I don't know how accurate it is but for my own purposes, it was accurate enough.