"What about my bithday?"

Cole's social calendar has been in undated with birthday parties. So with those parties come birthdays. And gifts. So I was relieved by the slow down in parties in recent weeks. And then Christmas happened. And Christmas parties. So when I tried to explain to Cole that those parties were a celebration of Jesus I thought it would be easier to just say it was Jesus' birthday. Because it is. That is what we should really be celebrating after all.

His cousin came over Monday afternoon to play. They started talkng about birthday. They each thought it should be their birthday. So then they started arguing over whose birthday it was. Kani had a birthday in November. Cole's isn't until February. So I reminded them that it was neither of their birthdays, it was Jesus' birthday.

Cole came up to me with the saddest look on his face, and tears started to fill his eyes.

"Mommy, what about my birthday?"

And my heart broke. It just shattered to a million pieces because in his little world, he had felt forgotten. And I knew that feeling all too well. And there was nothing I could do. Because to throw him a party so that his heart would not hurt, and so that my heart would not hurt, would not teach him anything.

Oh, the irony of it all.