Every parent knows their barometer of "crazy child" is whack when it comes to their own. I hardly ever think my child is well-behaved. I mentioned that this week would be a hectic one because I had something going on every night and Will was going to have to step in all week, every night. So on Monday I decided that it was a rather casual meeting that I would take him so that Will could stay home and just relax. So I did and the whole time I was there I could swear that Cole was kinda being annoying.
Now, because my barometer I know is waaay off when it comes to my child -you know because I love him so much but he also drives me nuts so much-that I don't react very consistently. Sometimes I play "cool" mom and I let everything just slip off my shoulders. I pretend I have it under control, that all is as it should be. Like Cole throwing tantrums in the shopping carts, remember that? I just walk around like "Do you all hear anything, I don't hear anything" all the while I am pushing around a screaming kicking toddler. I just play it cool.
Then there are those times that I am all feisty and scolding for every little thing. Basically, uptight. I'll see Cole start trying to strike up a conversation with one of the girls at the meeting and I pull him aside and ask him if we "need to go outside and have a talk" kinda uptight. Just for talking. But the thing is that Cole's 2, and he really just couldn't care less, and he just can't help his sweet little heart to not talk to someone. But I forget and I'm all like "don't bother the girls".
So I find myself always confused, never knowing where to draw the line. When to be relaxed, when to be strict, when to be uptight. Because you see, I am not a true judge of my child's behavior. But I know that I am being judged for how I react (or don't react) to it.
This whole mommy gig is hard!
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The whole mommy gig is terrifically hard. And don't worry, you are not the only one who hasn't figured out how to judge their own kid's behavior depending on his age and the circumstance and your mood, etc. etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteReally. Three kids in and the only thing I know that I've done consistently is get my kids to sleep through the night. Not bad, no. But there's a lot more than that. And the 2 year old I have now gets away with a whole lot more than my first born. Time changes things. Having more kids changes things. You'll sort it out.
And this is a good place to talk about it because you can just put it out there and not worry about being judged yourself.