In my head

Tweetie Pie has been going to pre-school since June. He cried for the first week or so and then after that he was fine. Just peachy. Don't misunderstand me, he never wanted to go, but he went and then shrugged his shoulders at me saying goodbye, kinda like "I don't want to he here but I know you'll leave me here anyway and I'm still kinda asleep so I'll skip the cry fest till nap time".

The crazy school closes for like 2 weeks in the summer and Cole enjoyed sleeping in late, - oh, who am I kidding...so did I. When school started up again I strolled in there like I owned the place. After all, Cole had been going there for like 6 weeks straight. I walked up to his classroom and I saw all the new parents peeking in the window and I gave them that "been there, it gets easier, call me if you need advice" nod and opened the door to his classroom. The minute we stepped inside, he started balling and grabbing for me. He clamped down on my leg and all I could think was "Cole, you are making a scene. You are embarrassing Mommy." Because this wasn't how it had happened in my head this morning.

Gosh, sometimes I think things should just stay in my head because everything works out so much better there. It's this crazy outside of my head world that throws me for a loop.

So I left him crying in the arms of Miss J, his beloved teacher and I perched myself on the window and peeked in. I was the only one. All the new parents had come and left their little brave warriors and here I was, just like days 1-5, stalking my little one through the window.

That was 2 weeks ago and not much has changed. He still cries (for like 5 seconds) when I drop him off and I still peek through the window when I walk out. Sometimes, I get the nod from other parents. I have to find comfort in the thought that their day will come, perhaps after the Thanksgiving break. In my head, Cole walks in, smiles, and turns and says "See ya later alligator". I wave back and reply "in a while crocodile". Then I stroll out, nod to the other parents with the toddlers clinging to dear life on their legs, and walk all the way to my car. Never looking back.

Yeah, I like my head.